serial_kills

serial_kills @ 2008-07-03T18:26:00

2008-07-03T22:34:02Z

DERRICK: Popular theory is that massaging your bust line can increase your bust size. So try giving yourself a good rub down sometime.

ME: Huh! Do you think if I have sex with big tit playing dudes, like, everyday, they'd come back? Oh! But at what price?! Derrick, that's a horrible idea. I'm not that slutty! You are so mean to think I would do that. ...Do you think it would work? You're insane! Gross!

DERRICK: It just might. If only because increased sex would lead to increased hormone production, i say, bang around. What's the worst that could happen? Pestilence?

ME: Lost dignity?

DERRICK: Yeah, like you could lose that.

ME: Ha ha ha Right?

DERRICK: I know!

Ok, I don't mean to be a dick but...

2008-06-23T17:44:23Z

I don't mean to be a dick. This is an honest question. Is the reason why everyone is saying "oh I'm going to miss Carlin, he was so funny" because you can't say something bad about the dead?

I had already mourned the loss of Carlin when I went to go see him live in the last five years. His routine was completely unfunny. Then I saw his last HBO special. I went through the grieving of the loss of Carlin THEN.

serial_kills @ 2008-06-07T02:19:00

2008-06-07T06:34:19Z

1. I've come to realize that my boobs...
have shrunk and will never grow back to the Es I once had...

2. I've come to realize that my job...
Is interesting and scary...

3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving...
Other people should not be driving near by...

4. I've come to realize that I need...
to be confident enough to let people know I have emotions and know that people won't think I'm gay or run away.

5. I've come to realize that I have lost...
My glasses again. I always find them, but it's so hard to look for your glasses without your glasses.

6. I've come to realize that I hate it when...
People don't tell me things like their a computer. Tell me honestly how you feel about things without feeling them at the same time. It's annoying.

7. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk...
I'll even find YOU funny.

8. I've come to realize that money...
-trees should be real, and I should own one.

9. I've come to realize that certain people...
Are out for themselves only and shouldn't be surprised when I'm not an exception to that rule.

10. I've come to realize that I'll always be....
That girl. You know what I mean.

11. I've come to realize that if I drunk dial people...
that they'll come and pick me up. :)

12. I've come to realize that my mom...
Means well, but is not sane.

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone is...
CRAP. UTTER CRAP!!!

14. I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning...
/afternoon/night that I kinda want to move to LA for a while...strange, huh?

15. I've come to realize that last night before i went to sleep...
just to accept it and go on. I was bored anyway.

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about...
Filling this thing out.

17. I've come to realize that my dad...
Always means well.

18. I've come to realize that when I log on Myspace...
that no one uses it anymore.

19. I've come to realize that today ...
was relaxing.

20. I've come to realize that tonight...
I have tons of anxiety.

21. I've come to realize that tomorrow I will...
have to get rid of the anxiety.

22. I've come to realize that I really want to...
be able to just fly.

23. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost..
will be considered as lame! That's right Rach, you will be LAME!!!

24. I've come to realize that life...
is pretty simple.

25. I've come to realize that my friends...
are replaceable. Just as I am in their lives.

26. I've come to realize that this year...
Is "Eh" so far.

So cute!

2008-04-18T20:09:13Z

The people taping it annoy me. But the otters are Soooooo cute!

I am so sick. Worst cold ever. I hate it. It's fucking with my life. I just hope I don't have it Sunday when I see Kids in the Hall.

I was bored

2008-04-15T02:09:20Z

1. Go to www.flickr.com
2. Type in your answer to the question in the "search" box
3. Use only the first page
4. Copy the html and paste for the answer.

1. What is your first name?

2. What is your favorite food?

3. What School did you go to?

4. What is your favorite color?

5. Who is your celebrity crush?

6. Who is your favorite Disney Princess?

7. Favorite drink?

8. Dream Vacation?

9. Favorite Dessert?

10. What do you want to be when you grow up?

11. What do you love most in life?

12. One word to describe you?

13. What do you dream about?

serial_kills @ 2008-04-07T02:05:00

2008-04-07T06:07:14Z

For the first time I was able to listen to every song that ever meant something to me and, my ex, Josh, and feel like I'm just listening to any old tune. It's a really great feeling.

How to break up a cat fight

2008-03-11T03:34:33Z

It's worth watching two kitten fight for twenty seconds for the breakup of it. Promise.

serial_kills @ 2008-02-11T03:26:00

2008-02-11T08:29:55Z

XXXHugeDiCk (2:57:34 AM): hey...

PossessedByDevil (2:57:49 AM): ...hi

XXXHugeDiCk (2:57:57 AM): who is this? your name was on my BL.

PossessedByDevil (2:58:16 AM): I'm looking to see if yours is on mine

XXXHugeDiCk (2:58:29 AM): got a myspace?

PossessedByDevil (2:58:37 AM): do you?

XXXHugeDiCk (2:58:42 AM): yes

XXXHugeDiCk (2:59:10 AM): you?

PossessedByDevil (2:59:14 AM): yes

XXXHugeDiCk (2:59:20 AM): whats ur link?

PossessedByDevil (2:59:28 AM): now that we have that established

PossessedByDevil (2:59:55 AM): well, who are you, because your name doesn't appear on my
buddylist

XXXHugeDiCk (3:00:10 AM): my names mark. i'm from ny. u?

PossessedByDevil (3:00:27 AM): My name is Steph.

XXXHugeDiCk (3:00:50 AM): whats ur myspace?

PossessedByDevil (3:01:21 AM): what's yours?

XXXHugeDiCk (3:01:40 AM): http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=327189560

XXXHugeDiCk (3:02:32 AM): yours?

PossessedByDevil (3:02:54 AM): I have no idea who you are...

PossessedByDevil (3:02:56 AM): ummm

PossessedByDevil (3:03:05 AM): let me find it

PossessedByDevil (3:03:53 AM): http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=26120469

XXXHugeDiCk (3:04:41 AM): i dunno you either.

XXXHugeDiCk (3:04:47 AM): but ur really hot.

PossessedByDevil (3:04:50 AM): Strange

PossessedByDevil (3:05:07 AM): you must not be at the right profile then. :P

XXXHugeDiCk (3:05:27 AM): haha. you got amazing lips, babe.

PossessedByDevil (3:05:43 AM): ha ha

XXXHugeDiCk (3:05:56 AM):

XXXHugeDiCk (3:06:37 AM): you got a sexy body.

PossessedByDevil (3:07:19 AM): now you're just full of it. There's no body shots

XXXHugeDiCk (3:07:29 AM): yea there is.

PossessedByDevil (3:07:47 AM): Do you have a last name?

XXXHugeDiCk (3:07:52 AM): http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=26120469&albumID=0&imageID=16270905

PossessedByDevil (3:08:14 AM): doesn't count

XXXHugeDiCk (3:08:22 AM): but it's hot.

PossessedByDevil (3:08:32 AM): ha ha

XXXHugeDiCk (3:08:46 AM): what turns you on?

PossessedByDevil (3:09:29 AM): The normal stuff...

PossessedByDevil (3:10:41 AM): like kisses, groping, and a knife stabbing a girl in the twat repeatedly. What turns you on?

XXXHugeDiCk (3:11:01 AM): big tits, full, thick lips.

PossessedByDevil (3:11:42 AM): I guess the same stuff doesn't really turn us on.

XXXHugeDiCk (3:12:03 AM): can you deep throat?

PossessedByDevil (3:12:58 AM): I'm sure after I chomped it a couple of times to make it thinner I could.

XXXHugeDiCk (3:13:11 AM): ...

PossessedByDevil (3:13:12 AM): can you?

PossessedByDevil (3:14:18 AM): What? What did I say? Isn't that how it works?

XXXHugeDiCk (3:14:34 AM): how big are your tits?

PossessedByDevil (3:15:10 AM): Pretty obvious :P

XXXHugeDiCk (3:15:31 AM): bra size?

PossessedByDevil (3:15:59 AM): F

XXXHugeDiCk (3:16:05 AM): hot

PossessedByDevil (3:16:37 AM): My scoliosis is even hotter.

PossessedByDevil (3:16:41 AM): What's your last name

XXXHugeDiCk (3:16:45 AM): russo

PossessedByDevil (3:17:27 AM): nope...still don't know you

XXXHugeDiCk (3:17:42 AM): you wanna?

PossessedByDevil (3:17:51 AM): where do you live

XXXHugeDiCk (3:18:05 AM): mineola

PossessedByDevil (3:18:23 AM): I live in Hicksville

XXXHugeDiCk (3:18:39 AM): we should hook up

PossessedByDevil (3:19:05 AM): Alright. But I think you should know that I have a tumor

PossessedByDevil (3:19:39 AM): some dudes like it

And then he stopped talking to me!!! Why does every guy I'm interested in run from me? :( WHY!?!?

It's official

2007-12-20T05:05:54Z

I love canada.

FOR THOSE MISSING THE DAILY SHOW TELLING YOU WHAT'S GOING ON

2007-11-15T04:42:49Z

serial_kills @ 2007-10-25T21:21:00

2007-10-26T01:26:38Z

I have decided what I am to be for Halloween.

I am going to be a dead, raped Dora the Explorer. I will be wearing a pink shirt with, wrtten in blood, Diego was here (With an arrow pointing down).

Mmmmm.... I got to go shopping for that shit. I'll do it on Sunday or Monday.

No one steal my fucking disturbing idea. Or it's your mother fucking head!!!!

SWEENEY TODD TRAILER IS ONLINE, for realzy guys, for realzy.

2007-10-04T23:20:03Z

So the radio show went so much better than I thought it would. Which, is totally not hard, considering how low my expectations were. I was supposed to be on for 15 minutes. I was on for an hour because I was cracking jokes and shit. And they only asked me about Barbra three times, at the very beginning. So it wasn't bad and it turned out a kind-of distant relative of mine is the co-host of the show. It was pretty rockin'.

After the show I went to Long Beach. One of the guys from the radio show drove me to Long Beach since he lived near by there and therefore I would not have to wait 2 extra hours to wait for a fucking train. This guy is the assistant to the host of the radio show and he has to be the most depressed person alive, ever. Everything out of his mouth got me to reply "I'm so sorry to hear that about you."

When I got to Long Beach train station at about 4:30 in the morning, a homeless man wouldn't stop bugging Derrick. After we both declared we had no money he went away. Then we walked to Derrick's house the long way, via boardwalk, because I like walking by beaches at night. Then I passed out in his sister's room and woke up at 11:30. Then went back to sleep at 12:30 and woke up again at 2:30...or 3:30? I dodn't remember. But his mom made fun of my sleeping :P. Coral and I did some tapping back and forth. She's really good at tapping. Derrick and I played a super nintendo, which was sweet. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, and Mariokart. I kicked his ass in the first battle game. Nevermind how many times we played battle. Just know that I won the first game.

I have to make a mixed CD still for Kirk. It's his birthday and he wants everyone to make him one.

Michelle comes home tomorrow!

SUPER IMPORTANT

2007-10-03T00:38:49Z

Grr...My parents suck. Ok. This one is going to be a tad angsty.

I decided to do the radio thing even though I didn't want to, and many people told me it was a bad idea. Why did I do it then? My parents wanted me to sing on the radio. So anyway, now that I'm doing this for them, all of a sudden they're riding my ass about it. All the negative shit that I already thought of, they are thinking of an hour before I have to leave. They won't stop.

Ok. The angst is out and over.

Granted, I don't have cancer or AIDS. But this is my life. And we all know my life is more important than anyonebody. Therefore, a little annoyance like that takes on more clout than a person finding out they have cancer or AIDS would.

serial_kills @ 2007-09-03T00:35:00

2007-09-03T04:42:19Z

More than three years of devoted friendship...down the drain.

Great...

serial_kills @ 2006-06-13T18:37:00

2006-06-13T22:43:21Z

(Playing Go to the Head of the Class)
ME: What is the term for a kitchen on a boat.

SHELLIE: What? Say it again.

ME: What is the term for a kitchen on a boat. What do you call a kitchen on a boat?

SHELLIE: One more time so I understand it.

ME: What is the term for a kitchen on a boat. There's a room that's just like a kitchen, but it's on a boat. What is it called?

SHELLIE: Eek. I don't know!!! I'm just gonna go with a Pirate Ship.

ME: What?! No. Shellie! What is a kitchen called on a boat. The kitchen on a boat, what is it called?

SHELLIE: I said a pirate ship.

ME: It's a Galley!

SHELLIE: Oh...the kitchen!!! Not the boat!!!

Oh my god, my boyfriend is a fag.

2006-05-03T18:20:47Z

jsilvers02 (1:26:52 AM): Lol

Auto response from CanYouStandUp (1:26:52 AM): See you in hell.:-P

Previous message was not received by jsilvers02 because of error (1:26:52 AM): User jsilvers02 is not available.

JSilvers02 (1:30:01 AM): i love you
JSilvers02 (2:14:55 AM): i love you

Auto response from CanYouStandUp (2:14:55 AM): See you in hell.:-P

JSilvers02 (2:14:58 AM): i love you
JSilvers02 (2:15:01 AM): i love you
JSilvers02 (2:15:03 AM): i love you
JSilvers02 (2:15:05 AM): i love you
JSilvers02 (2:15:08 AM): i love you
JSilvers02 (2:15:11 AM): i love you
JSilvers02 (2:15:13 AM): i love you
JSilvers02 (2:15:17 AM): i love you
JSilvers02 (2:15:22 AM): i love you
JSilvers02 (2:15:29 AM): i love you
JSilvers02 (2:15:33 AM): i love you
JSilvers02 (2:15:37 AM): i lov eyou
JSilvers02 (2:15:43 AM): i love you
JSilvers02 (2:15:48 AM): i love you
JSilvers02 (2:15:52 AM): i love you
JSilvers02 (2:15:55 AM): i love you
JSilvers02 (2:15:58 AM): i love you
JSilvers02 (2:16:00 AM): i love you
JSilvers02 (2:16:08 AM): I love you
JSilvers02 (2:16:11 AM): I love you
JSilvers02 (2:16:15 AM): I love you
JSilvers02 (2:16:18 AM): I love you
JSilvers02 (2:16:21 AM): I love you
JSilvers02 (2:16:24 AM): I love you
JSilvers02 (2:16:26 AM): I love you
JSilvers02 (2:16:29 AM): I love you
JSilvers02 (2:16:36 AM): I love you
JSilvers02 (2:16:41 AM): I love you
JSilvers02 (2:16:43 AM): I love you
JSilvers02 (2:17:38 AM): Steppy
JSilvers02 (2:17:42 AM): steppy
JSilvers02 (2:17:45 AM): Stepppy
JSilvers02 (2:17:49 AM): stepppy
JSilvers02 (2:17:51 AM): Steppy
JSilvers02 (2:17:53 AM): steppy
JSilvers02 (2:17:54 AM): Steppy
JSilvers02 (2:17:57 AM): steppy
JSilvers02 (2:17:59 AM): Ducky
JSilvers02 (2:18:05 AM): Ducky
JSilvers02 (2:21:07 AM): I love you my Steppy, Oh Yes I do, when I am blue, I like to think of you
JSilvers02 (2:21:23 AM): and all your cuteness, that you hold, i love you forever, or at least until you get old
JSilvers02 (2:21:25 AM): ;-)
JSilvers02 (2:39:41 AM): i am up

Auto response from CanYouStandUp (2:39:41 AM): See you in hell.:-P

JSilvers02 (2:39:46 AM): you are asleep
JSilvers02 (2:39:51 AM): shannon left and i love you
JSilvers02 (2:40:20 AM): and we had anal rape bleeding dripping sex as you requested...and more or less drank and ate food stuff and watched a movie and that was it
JSilvers02 (2:40:33 AM): and i love you and speak to you tommorrow, p.s. you owe me money
JSilvers02 is away at 2:42:44 AM.

serial_kills @ 2006-04-29T00:53:00

2006-04-29T05:15:43Z

JANICE: Eww...you're eating tuna? Your stinking up the whole room. Joking.

ME: Just be happy my legs are closed. (mimicking) Joking. ...But yeah, seriously...BE GLAD.

(In Religious Ethics Class)
PROF: People usually get this wrong. Jesus was not the "Immaculate Conception." The Mother Mary was.

BECKY: But how? I don't understand how she was born without sin?

SARA: (Who thinks she knows everything about Christianity) That's easy. She was born with original sin, but never sinned, so she didn't have sin.

ME: No. You're wrong. Original sin wouldn't make her the "Immaculate Conception." Immaculate means spotless. Therefore, she has to be born without original sin because original sin is like herpies. It never goes away.

SARA: What?!

PROF: Umm...even though that was a very colorful way of explaining it, that's sort of the gist.

serial_kills @ 2006-02-16T13:19:00

2006-02-16T18:32:54Z

TAMORA: What do you want to drink?

ME: A Screwdriver.

TAMORA: Why?

ME: I like to make excuses for why I drink. This way I'm not really doing something unhealthy. (Gets my drink, drinks it) Mmm, Vitamin C...

TAMORA: (Takes a drink of her Beer) Mmm, Iron...

(Chizner is a Rabbi)
CHIZNER: Hey. I heard you wanted to speak to me. Is everything ok?

ME: Not really.

CHIZNER: You wanna talk about it?

ME: Not over the phone.

CHIZNER: Well, I'm going on vacation and I won't be back until next week. Is there anyway you can meet me tonight?

ME: Nope. It's totally fine. It's not like a help me now type of thing. It's not urgent. It's just about the fact that I might have decided to become Secular because I don't believe there is an afterlife and I have trouble believing there is a G-d. It can wait until you get back.

CHIZNER: Are you sure?

ME: Yeah.

CHIZNER: Do you ever feel like you wanna hurt yourself?

ME: What? What do you think I am, retarded? Don't you think that because I think that there is no afterlife I would do anything to prolong my existence?

CHIZNER: Well, you know. I have to make sure. I don't want my Reputation to be damaged. Like what if I leave and you killed yourself and in your note you wrote "Chizner wasn't there for me"?

serial_kills @ 2005-11-21T22:17:00

2005-11-22T03:17:34Z

I saw the movie Rent for free today. It was this whole promotion thing. Anyway, I regret to inform Rentheads that Rent was a horrible movie. It was like a bad, corny, ripoff of a Creed video. It was laughable. Most of the audience, who was filled with Rentheads, either had fits uncontrolable laughter because it was so bad or they started groaning. We got free rent merchandise and after the movie was over my friend who was with me informed me that he was going to give away all of the Rent stuff because he hated the movie so much.

serial_kills @ 2005-11-06T15:01:00

2005-11-06T20:03:50Z

ME: How's your love life going?

PETER: Interestingly.

ME: You have a girlfriend?

PETER: Not now.

ME: You getting laid, though?

PETER: Not since last night.

ME: Why?

PETER: Well, I was having sex with my girlfriend...

ME: Yeah...

PETER: And then my grilfriend walked in.

ME: Wait, how?...Oh...You're an asshole.

serial_kills @ 2005-10-27T00:51:00

2005-10-27T04:54:28Z

I saw Cream in concert! I saw God on stage! Not many people have done this in their life time. Very few have, in fact. It was also the last time Cream is to be performing ever! So...Who wants to touch me?

serial_kills @ 2005-10-15T00:01:00

2005-10-15T04:01:54Z

(Talking about shellie and me)
JOSH: I wnat the both of you at the same time. Mmmh yea!

ME: Eww! You didn't spell want right!

ME: What are you and bradley doing tonight?

SHELLIE: I'm doing chris.

ME: With bradley?

The Wonderful game of Taboo.

2005-09-06T02:24:38Z

BRETT: Dumbo is a...

SHELLIE: Dog.

BRETT: Are you retarded?

BRADLEY: You blank Josh.

ME: Fuck!

BRADLEY: No. Nicer!

ME: Have sex?

SHELLIE: Is that all you think of your relationship?

BRADLEY: I have to stop the timer until I stop laughing. (after 2 minutes) Ok. Let’s go.

ME: Ok. Kiss.

BRADLEY: No. Alright. You are madly in blank with Josh

ME: Oh! Love!

ME: You have a stroke and go into a...

SHELLIE: Seizure!

ME: Umm, ok. But after that you go into a...

SHELLIE: Hospital!

ME: Ok...You’re at the hospital because you are in a...

BRETT: Uh, Steph, that’s a COMMA not a COMA.

BRADLEY: Boyfriends and girlfriends do this.

SHELLIE: Fuck!

BRADLEY: No! Nicer!

SHELLIE: Have sex?

BRADLEY: Do I have to do this again?

SHELLIE: Kiss?

BRADLEY: Yes!

serial_kills @ 2005-08-30T15:02:00

2005-08-30T19:18:08Z

First Draft's (My group) last show is tonight and we're going out with a big bang. Come on down and watch our fall out of your chair funny show. Afterwards come on down and party with us at Mcmanus!

I haven't updated in a long time. More to come.

2005-05-21T15:12:49Z

(My parents and I in a long ass car ride stuck in traffic)
ME: I'm bored. Let's play a game.

MOM: What game do you wanna play?

ME: I don't know. You pick.

MOM: How about the Movie Game?

DAD: How about Monopoly?

ME: Ooh! I'm the dog.

MOM: I'm the car!

DAD: I'm the thimble! (Remember. There is no actual Monopoly game) Roll to see who goes first. I got a 9.

MOM: I'll roll now. I got a 12.

ME: I'll roll. Ooh, I got a 12. Roll again mom.

MOM: I got a 12.

ME: Wow, I just got a 12 again too. Roll again mom.

MOM: I got a 12.

ME: Wow, this is so strange. I just got a 12 too. I've never seen something like this happen. (Serious tone)...Roll again mom.

MOM: ...I got an 11. You're turn.

ME: Oh my goodness! I got a 12! I guess that means I go first. Rolling...I got a 39.

MOM: (Pissed) Oh, my God. You landed on boardwalk...

ME: I'll take it.

DAD: Are you able to afford it right now?

MOM: Yes, it's the start of the game.

ME: Your turn mom.

DAD: Wait a second? How could you have rolled a 39?

ME: It was luck! Do you doubt me?

DAD: Lee, go.

MOM: Ooh, I rolled a 20. Free parking for me!!!

ME: It's only $500. Dad, your turn.

DAD: Ok. I rolled a 12.

ME: A 12?

DAD: Yeah. I get the electric company or whatever.

MOM: Roll one die.

DAD: 9.

ME: Oh, alright. My turn. Ooh!

DAD: What?

MOM: I bet she rolled a 38.